When we in Reiki circles speak about the third principle " Just for today, I will be grateful", we discuss being grateful from the heart. I take this to mean trying to really feel the gratitude, rather than doing the; fake it till you make it, practice.
The weeks previous had been going so well. I mediated on not being anger and not worrying and it felt really good. I was so proud of myself. When it came to the gratitude day I thought " this is going to be a piece of cake". That day was a trying day. I felt pulled in all sorts of directions. I felt I was running on my primary tank rather than my auxiliary tank (for clarification, my auxiliary tank is my over flow tank. drawing energy from this tank keeps my primary tank full and me from getting depleted). Then at the end of my work day I got bad news. You got it, I was back to exploring not being anger and not worrying. In the moment I couldn't find gratitude and couldn't sit down to write all of you from a false heart. I went deeper.
Next my part of the world was hit by a snow storm. I thought, how perfect that when I decided to go deeper with my thoughts, Nature gave me the space. Then I caught a cold (for the first time in over a year),which meant I was going to stay inside and really have time to reflect.
Part of my anger was coming from my difficulty having the means at this time to speak my truth. This is a Throat Chakra imbalance. Remember when I spoke about holding onto anger we can develop blockages. My difficulty speaking my truth is coming from a timing issue. It just isn't the right time to express what I need to, to the correct individual. My issue is dependent on several people making it complicated for me to create an action plan of my own and move forward at my own pace. Though I started to verbally set boundaries in other areas of my life, I wasn't moving the source energy. Consequently, I lost my physical voice.
My cold symptoms were also no surprise as they were a representation of both my anger and my worry. I had mucous, cold feet and hands (Worry) and flushing of heat from the anger.
Once I reflected on how beautiful the process was, the gratitude started to emerge from my heart. I truly was coming to a place of being Thankful. I thought how great the snow storm hit and allowed me to go within, to be silent without having the obligations of work. Being sick was another blessing for it allowed my to remain still rather than trying to do a bunch of household work. This allowed for more mediation. I was able to work through feeling like I had no control over my situation to feeling like it was giving me the opportunity to explore boundaries and set up new organizational systems in the future. I was grateful I had the privilege to put my own oxygen mask on before helping others. The other point to this principle is being able to have internal gratitude. The question being can you be grateful for being you and your circumstances? Once you can do this it is easier to find areas outside of self to be grateful.
The concept of internal gratitude reminds me of a Thai abdominal massage technique called the inner smile. We direct our self or the client to imagine the smile we get when looking at a baby. Then we direct that smile to ourselves. Take a moment find a place in your body that feels a bit out of balance or raw. Find that smile you give to adorable babies and directed to the out of sorts body area. Take a breath in, pause for a moment and now exhale. How do you feel? Did you feel that smile working it's magic?
One lesson this exploration offered me was; sometimes to move forward we must first step back.
I hope you will have a meaningful exploration and mediation on this third principle. May your inner smile bring you warmth and joy. May you shine this light into the world to help others see their own light.
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